Signs Of Possible Drug Use, Where to Get Help, And Confronting Your Child

The following material is adapted from the pamphlet: "It takes a whole community to raise a child," developed by the McFarland Partners in Prevention.

While it can be difficult to distinguish typical adolescent behavior from drug-induced behavior, parents should consider possible drug use if they notice several of these changes in their child:

1. Changes in Physical Appearance

Red eyes and frequent use of eye drops
Runny nose, congestion, coughing
Wearing dark glasses when not necessary
Pale face, circles under eyes
Spots or sores around the mouth
Needle marks
Lack of personal cleanliness, messy appearance

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2. Changes in Eating and Sleeping Habits

Difficulty falling asleep, insomnia
Inappropriate napping
Significant weight loss or gain
Poor appetite
A sudden appetite

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3. Changes in Behavior and Personality

Abrupt changes in mood
Hostility, defiance of rules
Depression, "I don't care" attitude
Lack of responsibility (for instance, not doing chores or homework, forgetting family occasions)
Blaming, lying, making excuses
Loss of memory, shortened attention span, disordered thought patterns
Withdrawal from family, isolation, secretiveness

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4. Changes in School or Job Performance

Lowered grades, neglected homework
Frequent tardiness and absenteeism
Falling asleep in class
Discipline problems
Quitting or getting fired from jobs

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5. Physical Evidence of Drug Use

Missing money (from buying drugs)
Excess money (from selling drugs)
Liquor missing or watered down
Fake ID
Mouth wash, breath sprays
Vision or other eye drops
Roach clips, rolling papers
Bongs, pipes, or small screens
Razor blades, straws, glass surfaces
Syringes, needles, medicine droppers
Cloth covered bulbs that pop when broken
Baggies containing dried leaves or seeds
"Stash cans," often disguised as cola or beer cans
Burning incense, room deodorizers
Prescription medication disappearing

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6. Changes in Friends and Interests

New or different friends, especially ones who use drugs
Friends rarely introduced or seldom come to the house
More time spent in room or away from home
Secrecy about actions and possessions
Hobbies, sports, or extra-curricular activities are given up; everything is boring
Stays out past curfew

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7. Positive Attitude toward Drugs and Alcohol

Pro-drug messages on posters or clothing
Strong defense of the occasional use of drugs by peers; thinks adults "hassle" kids
Easily angered when confronted about chemical use
Concern expressed by others over his/her use of drugs

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Red Flag Behaviors:

Seek help immediately if your child:

Steals
Runs away from home
Shows violent behavior
Threatens or attempts suicide

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Where to Get Help

If you think your child may be using drugs, there are various personnel at your child's school you can contact for help, including the school counselor, school psychologist, social worker, or nurse. Residents of Dane County also can call the Adolescent Alcohol/Drug Abuse Intervention Program, at 262-1111, during normal business hours. In addition, all private insurance in Wisconsin is required to provide mental health benefits, including alcohol and drug abuse services.

If a medical emergency arises (for instance, a possible drug overdose), call 911. If you have medical concerns which do not represent an emergency, you can call the Wisconsin statewide poison center at 800-222-1222, or you can take your child to an emergency room or urgent care provider. Even if the situation is not a medical emergency, taking your child to the emergency room can show them how seriously you take the situation, and may be a good way of making contact with helpful individuals and agencies.

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Confronting Your Child

If you do not have medical concerns about the situation, you will still need to confront your child regarding your suspicion of alcohol or drug abuse. Do not confront your child when they are intoxicated or high. Take the necessary time to think about what you are going to say. Any of the people or agencies discussed above may be helpful as you make preparations to talk with your child, and form a plan to help him or her.

The following general guidelines may be helpful when you first confront your child. In addition, you will need to make a plan to help your child stop using.

When you confront your child, select a time when interruptions will be minimal. Be specific about the signs you have observed. In a straightforward way, tell your child about your concern and the reasons for it. When you confront your child,

BE:

Understanding ("I realize a lot of kids take drugs.")
Firm ("As your parent, I cannot allow you to engage in harmful activities.")
Supportive ("We love you and sense something is troubling you, in which case we want to help.")

DON'T BE:

Sarcastic ("Don't think you're fooling me!")
Accusatory ("You're a liar.")
Hostile ("How could you be so stupid?")
Self-pitying ("How could you do this to our family?")
Self-blaming ("What did I do wrong?")

Remember, if your child is using drugs, she or he needs your help. Don't be afraid to be a strong parent! Nevertheless, the problem may be too much for you to handle alone. Don't hesistate to seek professional help, such as counseling, a support group, or a treatment program, as you prepare to confront your child and form a plan to help him or her.

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