MMSD Today

News and information for staff members and the Madison community

Vol. II No. 3 - December 22, 2006

Some thoughts about Weston

Here are reflections from some of the MMSD Student Services staff who went to Weston for the first school day after the shooting in order to provide crisis counseling, classroom support and assessment of need for follow-up.

Pat Henner, Falk School Psychologist
As I drove to Weston, I was trying to prepare for the responsibility by recalling some of the crises to which our MMSD crisis team had responded. I expected to find kids and adults who were traumatized by the events.... probably much like sorrow and grief we've had in our district.

This was different. This is a very small community where everybody knows everybody, or at least it seems like that's true. Cazenovia/Weston is the kind of place where "neighborliness" makes it all but impossible to imagine that someone in the community could suddenly and unpredictably wreak such havoc.

I've come away from this experience with a renewed commitment to the idea that establishing and maintaining meaningful relationships with each other is the ONLY thing that is really important. The Weston folks knew this and lived this before the tragedy and continue to demonstrate this even more impressively as a result of the tragedy.

This is not a "prevention strategy"; it's just a way to live. I want each kid, each colleague, parent and friend with whom I come into contact to know that I want to know them and I want to know about them.

It was a privilege to be asked to help and an experience which still moves me to tears, and an experience I will never forget.

Kristen Waters Guetschow, O'Keeffe School Psychologist
Sometimes you find gifts in unexpected places. When I was called to go to Weston to be part of the crisis team, I was full of anxieties and concerns. Could I miss a day at O'Keeffe? Would I remember my training? I didn't sleep well the night before — juggling all these worries.

The next day started with a drive through farmland covered in mist in the early morning light. It was hard to believe a tragedy occurred in such an idyllic setting. I entered the building greeted by a line of community members. This community came together to nurture and support each other in a very tangible fashion.

My assignment was to support a middle school math teacher. Her students each had a connection to the slain principal, his assailant, and to the boy who was killed in a car accident on the morning of the shooting. I was asked to join their circle of desks as they talked about their experiences; sharing their stories, worries, and thoughts about how to move forward. I was honored to be able to share in their process of resilience and recovery.

My day ended with all the volunteers gathering to discuss the process and pass on lingering concerns. I observed with pride my colleagues who approached this task with respect and compassion.

I think about that community often as I go about my days working in little ways to prevent such tragedies and, from time to time, I try to take time out and look for the unexpected gifts.

Sara Parrell, Hamilton and Van Hise School Nurse
Two months after counseling children in the Weston School District, I still carry with me the healing energy of that day.

When I was invited the evening before to join a team of MMSD Student Services staff in providing crisis intervention for students, I experienced a flurry of immediate responses — deep surprise, doubt, confusion, and some fear. The shooting at Weston had been weighing on my mind; I realized this was in part because of my upbringing in a similar rural school setting. In spite of those first emotional responses, I was open to the invitation to go, and didn't hesitate to say yes.

As my colleague and friend, Kristin Guetschow (school psychologist at O'Keeffe,) drove through the October hills in pre-dawn light to reach Weston, we remarked on the paradox of such beauty in the face of such sorrow. We noted children waiting at the end of long gravel drives for the bus to return to school after the week they'd been home. And when we topped the hill and parked in the hay field next to the school, we walked through the front door greeted warmly by a long line of parents, shaking our hands, thanking us for coming.

My day was spent interviewing individual middle and high schoolers, or sometimes a pair of students who preferred to not go it alone. Overall I was struck with their openness. I was impressed with the support they had already received from their community — family, friends, teachers, churches. One 10th grader started her story quietly, but as we talked, listed all the self-care strategies she'd undertaken since "that day" — riding her old bike up and down the hills near her farm until the tire went flat and she had to walk it home the last mile, writing poems in her diary, talking with her big sister, spending the night with friends. Clearly, we were in the presence of a community within and outside the school that understood how to take care of its own.

I was grateful for the opportunity to participate in supporting children in crisis, but also for my own learning in the process. And, I was honored to be part of a response from MMSD that demonstrated compassion in the world.

Mary Seidl, Huegel School Psychologist
Colleague Dennis Whitish and I drove across beautiful rural country, arriving at the school shortly after students had entered their classrooms.

There were many stories shared that day. Giving students an opportunity to tell their stories and share with us, outsiders, an insider's view appeared to be an empowering experience for not only the students and staff but the support personnel gathered to help begin the healing process.

One theme repeatedly presented was that this was a community that experienced a devastating event and that they did not want this event to define who they are. The students we spoke with did not want all the media attention, in fact they described it as "intrusive." They repeatedly said that they did not want to let Eric Hainstock triumph over their homecoming and reputation, and desperately wanted back some sense of normalcy, despite obvious changes like being greeted by a uniformed police officer at their school door.

In addition to a strong sense of community, there was a need for normalcy in light of the events. Repeatedly students and staff told us that Eric was not that different or unique from any student and that, indeed, none of them could have predicted that he was capable of such action. They were hurt and confused, bitter and angry.

But above all that, they were committed to each other and to surviving this event. This was evident in their words but also in their clothing as almost all sported their Super Man T-shirts in honor of their fallen super hero, John Klang. In addition, many of them spoke of sleeping overnight at each other's homes since the event and noted that the football team, which had lost a player in a tragic car accident just minutes before the principal shooting, had taken turns sleeping over at each other's homes every night since the accident.

In closing there is story that will forever remind me of my time at Weston — a story that the students wanted me to remember. John Klang was their hero and gave them a role model to admire and live up to. The students wanted that memory preserved. They told me about how Mr. Klang often bought shoes for students who could not afford them. He would not simply give them to students; he would tell them that he bought them for someone in his family but that they did not fit so he brought them to school to give away. John Klang understood the need for students to "save face." Interestingly, John Klang did this for Eric Hainstock. This is what they wanted me to remember...the generosity of John Klang, not the violence of Eric Hainstock.

While I initially dreaded having to go to Weston, what I gained from that experience will live with me forever and I appreciate the opportunity given to me. It will enrich my practice and motivate me in my work as a school psychologist. While none of us can predict the behavior of any student and we all remain vulnerable to a certain degree because of what we do, we can work hard to build a support network and community within our schools.

The value of community cannot be measured by any standardized assessment, it is not part of "No Child Left Behind," and we cannot obtain a standard score or grade level on community and relationship. However, we can feel it in our hearts and its power far outweighs anything measurable.

That is what the students of Weston School taught me that day...that is what John Klang taught them...and that is what I hope to teach my students and staff.

Dennis Whitish, Huegel Social Worker
Arriving at Weston felt like going to a funeral. The media crews were in the fields across from the school and there were so many adults upon entering the building it didn't feel like you were in a school, but rather a somber, cold building. There was a picture of the football player who had been killed in a car accident on a table outside the entrance to the gym where all students were to meet with counselors.

Some kids were reluctant to talk to strangers. A group of football players kept telling me they didn't need to talk, that they were alright. They sat together in a group and their school counselor sat down in the middle of the group and gave them support for how they were feeling then.

An EMT parent and volunteer who responded to the shooting approached me and for 25 minutes spoke to me about his experience when he arrived at the scene. It was clear that this man needed to talk to someone — someone who would just listen to him and acknowledge the difficulty of responding to the school to find the principal lying on the hall floor shot.

It was easier for a small group of kids to sit down with me and my colleague, Mary Seidl, and tell us how they were feeling. They didn't like the intrusion of the media, all the "outsiders" in their school. They didn't want this event to be about Eric Hainstock. They wanted to remember their great principal, John Klang. The sea of blue superhero T shirts all students and many staff wore that day united them during their first day back at school from a tragic and sad event.

I left Weston School feeling better for sitting with students, some who wanted to talk and others who did not. I felt sorry for all the students having to experience this, but overall I walked away having experienced a strong sense of school and community at Weston, and a support system that will benefit the great group of students we met that day.

Ted Balistreri, MMSD Coordinator of School Security, Edna Kimele-Rhodes, Weston School Psychologist, and Terry Milfred, Weston Schools Superintendent. Balistreri and Kathy Halley, MMSD Program Support for School Psychology, assisted for many days the Weston school community in their crisis recovery.

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